The Moment I Felt "Free"

     The time where I actually felt free was during the second show of the 2012 Sankofa production. It was at the end of the show and it was now my classes turn to do one of the last performances that would close the show. I started off the piece which starts off very calm slow and as the piece progressed and the beat intensified a different feeling came over me. A feeling that I had never came across until that moment. for the first time I felt like I really became one with my heart. I felt very assertive in the sense that I knew and I could feel that this is what my heart loved to do and so of course I loved to do it. I was so aware of myself but i was more aware of how those around me received me and how others vibed off of my energy and vice versa. Ultimately during this piece I felt as though  I knew what my heart consisted of and in response to that I was able to show that to everyone who saw me that night.

      After reading and listening to the speech that David Foster Wallace gave I was able to connect to his words, break it down and try to apply his main points to my present life. As far as DFW's idea that life consist of fundamental choices that lie entirely within the human person and allow them to engage the world differently, I believe that it is a view point that is very true but is not noticed by many including myself in society today. Society as well as myself are not able to grasp this concept for the most part because we are so busy being unconscious and not thinking in the right ways. We are stuck on being on our default. Our default is the thought that we are the center of the universe and that our immediate feelings and needs are what should determine the worlds priorities.
     So in respect to fundamental choices that are dependable on the human person and how because of that each human person engages in the world differently is totally true. This is because the same exact experience can happen to two people but can still mean two different things to each individual. More over because each individual has a different ways of constructing or coming up with their meaning due to their different experiences with that particular issue. There have been times in my life where my sisters and I have gone through the same experience but handle it completely different. And I think its ok to conclude that we all reacted differently because of prior experiences that have formed certain beliefs or mindsets in our head.
     I would love to try my hardest to think in the right ways as David Foster Wallace explains to us in his commencement speech. To think in a way that calls a lot from me. Some of these being to be a little less arrogant. Also to have a little critical awareness about my self and my certainties because most of the time the things i tend to be certain about are the things that end up being totally wrong for me. More over I want to learn how to exercise some control over how or what I think, being conscious and aware enough to choose how I construct meaning from experience. At the end of the day I want to be seen as someone who is well-adjusted or someone who has learned and has equipped themselves to fight our default setting and get to consciously decide what has meaning and what does not.
     I believe that when DFW is being ironic and those in the audience respond by clapping or even laughing they are hiding. Hiding from the reality that what DFW is suggesting is exactly how they live their life and want to cover up their embarrassment with clapping and laughter. I also believe they are laughing and clapping because they believe it does not apply to them and they are so oblivious to the truth of his statement. It helps to bring to light the issue DFW brings up, blind certainty. Those at the commencement ceremony have a close mindedness that amounts to an imprisonment so total that the ones enslaved do not even realize it.
    Ultimately from David Foster Wallace's speech I have been able to learn so much about life and the way I should think. I understand now that its not the capacity to think but the choice of what to think about. And life before death has nothing to do with knowledge but awareness. Which leads to freedom, and freedom is an attention, awareness, discipline and being able to really care about other people and sacrifice for them. Also I realized that if we worship our default settings such as money, beauty and power they will consume us and kill us way before we are physically put to rest. Taking all these factors into account I know it will be hard to be conscious and get out of those default settings because the most obvious important realities are often the ones hardest to fulfill and live out. Even so it is now my job to be less arrogant and stop being unconscious because it is then that I will know I have other options than just conforming to our defaults.
   

The "heart" of Man

             
               After reading the play "Caligula" , I noticed that Albert Camus demonstrates Caligulas heart as one that has infinite desires, most of these desires being seen as impossible by the common person or by the patricians in the play. In the play Caligula expresses to Helicon that he had been gone for many days because he was searching for the moon. Through just this statement Camus illustrates Caligula as a human person searching for those impossible desires. But in actuality reality can only answer those desires tends to come short because it is unable to fulfill the impractical. Caligula begins to understand his journey when he starts to notice that the way life is being lived around him is boring and very one-dimensional. Those in power seem to view Caligula in a very immature and adolescent light.  They seem to believe that his state of mind is very  limited and he is unable to bounce back from tragedy. In the beginning of the play one of the patricians state how at Caligula's age its ultimately impossible to be an artistic emperor. As far as my own viewpoint on the issue I do not agree with those who are in power. I believe that the fact that Caligula can admit that the world around him is limited and not fulfilling is extremely brave and because he can come to terms with his desires I believe that he has more insight on life than the patricians and those in power because of how seriously he takes the question of reality.

Accounting for All The Factors

Object: Computer
1.) To go on the internet
2.) Type documents
3.) Make power points
4.) Make spread sheets
5.) Listen to music and watch movies
6.) Store documents, powerpoints, spreadsheets, music, photos, and movies
7.) Keep track of important dates
8.) Play games
9.) Edit photos
10.) Read e-mails
11.) Add apps
12.) Use apps
13.) Stores numbers
14.) store info from your cell phone
15.) Video chat
16.) Watch the news

What Does My Happiness Consist Of?

            As I sit down in my room and think about what my happiness consist of, I find myself being more confused than ever. This is because it is so hard to think of aspects and things in life that truly make you happy. As I look into what makes me happy, I start to think about my desires because they are things I usually go after so I can in return be content. As I think about my desires, I have a lot of desires that can be seen as short-term or desires that fulfill or make me happy for a short period of time  until I want it again or want something else to replace it. Some of these desires consist of food, clothes, money and shoes. These are mainly things that can be seen as materialistic, and usually with materialistic things your content with them for a couple of weeks or days and then you want something else new or exciting to take its place. All though I have plenty of short-term desires I also do have desires that I consider to be aspects that I cannot not get enough of and more over are the aspects that after receiving them I feel a sense of fulfillment inside. I also define these as what my happiness truly consist of. One aspect that I believe truly makes me happy is the love i receive from my family and friends. This is because even though I am for the most part pretty independent and like to say that I work so hard in school and everyday life for myself, its always comforting to feel that love and affirmation from the ones that you love the most and the ones who know all your flaws and defeats and still can give you such compassion.

          Another aspect that I believe helps me to be truly happy is simply achieving those big goals that  you put your blood sweat and tears into. I consider this a truly fulfilling goal because nothing compares to the feeling you receive when you finally conquer a goal that has taken an intense process to get to.  Plus the feeling that you attain from the conquering of the big achievement pushes you to believe that you are able to conquer some more of those ambitions that you have, and that feeling that you received the first time time after you conquered your goal will stay with you and will turn into a form of confidence that will guide you during times when you feel defeated. The most important  aspect that my happiness consist of is the love i receive form God. This is and will always be the most important because it consumes me and effects everything I do. God's love to me is so spread out  that it allows me to receive those affirmations from my friends and family and gives me the strength and faith to conquer my ambitions. For me God's love is everywhere and through treacherous times allows me to sit back and relax because I have faith that at the end of the day God will allow me to get through it if I'm meant to. Ultimately my happiness consist of those things that come and go and those that stick with me forever, but both give me the opportunity to experience life and live life to the fullest.

     Hi new followers I am a senior in high school. I am a very determined and optimistic person. I love to just live life and try new things. What I believe to be most valuable in my life is family, friends, and most importantly God and what he is planning for my future. I come from a episcopal/baptist background and I also see myself in that religious sense. I believe that everybody should be allowed to have their own personal beliefs and shouldn't have other religions and beliefs forced upon them. Instead of trying to force my religion and personal beliefs on others every chance I get, I try to express my religion through my actions, how I handle myself in certain situations and everyday life. My religion and personal beliefs are very important to me because they shape the person that I am today and set me apart from the common person. It also works for me as a comfort level, when I'm in doubt its always there to help me get back on track. My cultural background is african american and both of my parents are from the caribbean. It is very important to me because it has influenced the way i live everyday life, and I feel as though it has allowed me to have a more diverse outlook on life in general. In life I hope to end up doing something that I'm successful in and truly love to do. I want to have a strong relationship with God at all times and want to start a family so i ca passed down all the values and beliefs that I have learned through my religion, diverse background, and everyday experiences.